


Emu's Greatest Fear

by meitaroangst



Category: Kamen Rider, Kamen Rider Ex Aid
Genre: A KIRIEMU FIC ON THIS SITE THANK GOD, EMU FICS, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emu has panic attacks in the middle of the night, IM IN PAIN LRWMFKLF, Kiriya comforting his boyfriend after a bad dream :(, M/M, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Romantic Relationship, Takes place after Genm vs Lazer, Whump, inspired by rp, my first whump aaaa, soft kiriemu, takes place after heisei generations final??, we need more kiriemu fics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:47:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25600822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meitaroangst/pseuds/meitaroangst
Summary: Emu has lost Kiriya Kujo, among others, in the past, and sometimes still thinks about losing him. He never wants to lose him…It’s his biggest fear.
Relationships: Houjou Emu & Kujou Kiriya, Houjou Emu/Kujou Kiriya
Comments: 8
Kudos: 22





	Emu's Greatest Fear

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jen425](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jen425/gifts).



> Inspired by Kamen Rider role play in my discord server
> 
> This is my first KiriEmu fic that I published on this site. Also it's a whump. MORE EMU PAIN WLFNKLAKLSDN *cries* I did my best since I normally write lantonio fics but i LOVE KIRIEMU. Oh, did I mentioned that dedicated to them? Hehe! Let's say it's a little thank you gift for that lantonio oneshot they wrote me once. Anyways, I hope everyone likes it!

“Kiriya-san… Everyone…”

  
  


Emu mumbled in his sleep. Tears almost coming out of his eyes, even though they were closed shut. He held on to his blanket with all his might.

  
  
  


He had bad dreams for weeks. Maybe months. Dreams of his friends dying. Some may if those dreams include of Kiriya dying on Christmas Eve back then. Emu couldn’t take that much pain.

  
  


He turned various ways in bed. Tossing and turning himself. Emu felt his heart racing out of his chest. It was almost tight for him to breathe normally…

  
  
  
  


_Emu, you must take your fate into your own hands!_

  
  
  
  


He heard his boyfriend’s voice in his dream. Trying to fight his way out of it. Emu didn’t wanted to go back to that horrible day. Not ever.

Emu felt Kiriya and his friends disappearing from his very grasp. He was… all alone. With nobody by his side.

“No!”

  
  
  


Emu woke up from the awful nightmare, catching his breath. His heart was aching in pain, feeling his hands shaking violently. He could barely move them. Emu felt his tears slipping down his cheeks.

  
  
  


He was alone in the house by himself. Kiriya was still working a overnight shift at CR. Emu had no one.

He felt his chest feel really tight, like he couldn’t breathe. It felt like he was running out of oxygen. As soon as he knew, Emu started to break down into tears. He had so many tears coming down his face, he couldn’t control his emotions.

  
  


Emu Hojo felt alone…

  
  
  


“K-K-Kiriya-san… I’m so sorry…”

  
  
  


Losing Kiriya was Emu’s biggest fear.

  
  
  


He didn’t wanted to lose him. 

  
  
  


Emu blamed himself for not saving Kiriya. Twice.

  
  
  


He never wants to lose him. 

“Yo, Ace, I’m home from work!” Kiriya says as he shuts the door of their apartment from behind him, taking off his shoes and putting on his yellow slippers. He puts his bag on the sofa. 

Kiriya wouldn’t imagine that Emu would stay up this late. He usually would make dinner or wait for him by the door. He was the one who left work early than Kiriya did. 

He noticed that Emu was acting a bit weird than his usual self. He was… less happy then he knew he was. Kiriya walked to their bedroom down the hall to check on him.

Before he could even knock on the door, Kiriya heard Emu sobbing uncontrollably on the other side. His eyes grew as he heard his boyfriend’s sobs. He carefully opened the door, stepping inside.

Kiriya walked to his side (but slowly), without touching him because of his panic attack. He looked at him with an extremely worried look. Kiriya wouldn’t imagine the day how long he hasn’t seen Emu have a panic attack in four years. He hated to see him like that, even though he knew how much Emu cared about Kiriya.  
  


“Kiriya-san…”

  
  


He heard his voice. Kiriya’s heart shattered, hearing is whimper. 

  
  


_Fuck, Ace is having panic attacks again..._

  
  


He murmured under his breath. Kiriya knew this would happen. It might’ve been his fault for almost dying while fighting Kamen Rider Genm.

“I’m sorry… I-I-I-I’m so sorry…”

  
  


He couldn’t stand seeing Emu in pain. He… just couldn’t look at him like that.

  
  


Kiriya held him in his arms, hugging him really tight. Emu sobbed loudly into his chest. It broke his heart.

“K-K-Kiriya-san… I… I… I-I…”

“Shh… It’s alright, Emu.” He said as he stroked his back in circles. “I’m here now. It’s alright, sweetheart…”

“I’m… I’m so sorry… I… I couldn’t…”

“It’s ok, Ace. It’s okay…” Kiriya said to calm him down. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Emu backed away from him, looking at him in the eye. He held his left hand, entwining his fingers between his. Kiriya wipes his tears with his fingers. Cupping his cheek after.

But Emu looked down avoiding eye contact. He didn’t want him to look at him.

“Ace… you had another bad nightmare again didn’t you?” Kiriya asked quietly.

Emu shook his head no. Denying it.

“Y’know you can tell me what’s wrong. I’m your partner.” Kiriya says.

Tears slipped down Emu’s face once more. No matter what he wanted to tell him about his nightmare, the more hurt Emu would be. “I-I’m sorry that I couldn’t save you, Kiriya-san…”

“Emu…” Kiriya helds him in close. “I care about you. I hate seeing you like this and you know that.”

“But, I let you die, Kiriya-san! You almost died because you were fighting, Kuruto-san! I couldn’t let you or anyone die!” Emu choked on his tears.

Kiriya knew how heartbroken Emu was when he died. Worst than when he died in his boyfriend’s arms. He hated that he’d see Emu having panic attacks twice a night.

“Emu… Everyone is okay. Poppy’s okay, Taiga’s ok, Hiiro is ok. We don’t even know if Parado is even dead but I’m 100% sure he’s out there.” Kiriya explains.

“I’m right here alive and well. The past is in the past. I’m not dying or going anywhere ever again. And that’s a promise. It’s ok to have these thoughts but you have to at least tell me.”

“K-Kiriya-san…” 

Tears slip down Emu’s face. “I’m scared of… losing you…”

“I know, Ace. I know.” Kiriya headpatted his head. “I am too. But you know what? I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here. I’ll always be by your side no matter what the cost may be.”

Emu takes a deep breath and lets it out camly. “Ok… I… I’ll tell you the next time it happens.” He says. “I’m sorry if I didn’t told you sooner…”

“Hey. It’s okay, don’t worry. Just don’t make me worry a whole lot okay? I really care about you. I love you, Emu.”

“I… I love you too, Kiriya-san.”

  
  


A big grinish smile appeared on his face. Kiriya softly kisses him on the lips, cupping his cheek. 

Then five seconds later, they both pull away for air. Emu smiles.

“There’s my happy Ace.” Kiriya smiles back.

Emu giggles.

“We should get some sleep, Kiriya-san. We have work tomorrow.” Emu says.

  
  


“Oh shit, you’re right, Ace.” He says as he tucks himself and Emu in bed. Facing eachother.

“Good night, Kiriya-san.” Emu smiles.

“Good night, Ace.” Kiriya smiles back.

He driffs off to sleep, while Emu keeps his eyes open for a few minutes. He was happy that Kiriya is back. Emu couldn’t be anymore happier. His greatest fear was losing the man that he loved. He was scared. But Emu knew that he could trust him (without lying to him like he usually does.) Emu knows that he has someone in his life to count on and love him.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! follow me on @iwijima on twitter or @banjouryuugas on tumblr


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